I had heard of meditation before and I had even tried it here and there but I never really stuck with it. I never really tried to work on myself in the way that I needed. I had so much from my past that I didn't even realize was still effecting me at almost every moment of my day. All of what was going on in my mind was even starting to affect how I handled even the smallest of tasks. I was always moody, I cried a lot, I was even getting distant from Trav and my kids. I finally decided that I was going to fix myself because my inner demons just weren't going to leave on their own like I prayed for. I knew I myself had to take the plunge to fix me. Once I finally accepted that I wasn't ok and finally started opening up to Trav about just what was going on in my head, things really started to change!
Every night, I would wait until everyone had gone to bed and I would find guided meditations on YouTube to listen to. I would dim the lights in the living room and I would either sit on the floor or in one of our chairs in a crossed leg position. Then, I would close my eyes and just breathe and listen to the video. I noticed immediately after the first video that I felt so peaceful and even a little happier! Of course, you won't see results that stick in anything that you do unless you keep at it and I definitely wanted to feel that feeling all the time. So, I kept at it. Every night, it became a ritual. I would wait until everyone was asleep and then I would dim the lights, find a video, and get comfortable. This went on for awhile and my days started to seem easier, I felt lighter, more happy, more productive around the house, and I was even finding it easier to teach my kids things. My oldest son now knows an incredible amount more than he did this time last year!
After some time of doing just the guided meditations, I also started working out again. I would do my normal workouts where I was doing crunches, squats, and other things. Then, I came across something I hadn't even thought about in forever. It was called Buti Yoga (no this is not a sponsored post for Buti, I just really love the practice and it is part of me healing myself). I had tried doing Buti once before and I did not go in to it with an open mind at all. I thought it would be regular yoga with a little push to help you actually work out, so I tried it and never gave it a second thought until some time later. Not too long ago, I came across Buti while I was just exploring YouTube to find a yoga practice to incorporate in to my daily life. That's when I said you know what, I'm going to try that again. It incorporates yoga, tribal dancing, and some booty shaking to help you not only practice yoga but to reach your inner most primal state. I was hooked after the first video! I felt so strong, so connected with my higher self as I've come to call it, and all around like a sexy goddess! So, now I do Buti Yoga three days on and then I have an active rest day (usually practicing normal calming yoga) and then I go back to my three days on of Buti.
The turning point within myself really only happened recently though. The specific moment was during a guided meditation two nights ago. I've really been in to connecting with my higher self and trying to become the best me that I can be. I mean, if I can't heal my mind while becoming the best me that I can be that's going to basically make everything all for nothing right? Well, I looked up guided meditations for connecting with your higher self. I clicked on one of the more viewed guided meditations (and for good reason I would later learn!), dimmed the lights, closed my eyes, sat up straight with my legs crossed, and started to breathe. I started listening to this specific meditation and all of a sudden it had me crying! The scene was so beautiful that the man created in my head and it really helped touch some super deep things that I had pushed way down inside from when I was really little.
Through this incredible journey I have learned some really important things. First, if you have a mental illness or things that you never really healed from and you aren't doing something to heal that, today is a perfect day as any to start! Second, We can't be our best selves as mothers, fathers, significant others, friends, daughters, sons, or anything else for that matter until we start to heal ourselves on the inside. Third, even if you don't think that you need to heal from those things because you are a strong individual and you won't let it affect you, I promise eventually those things will rear their ugly heads because misery loves company and those things inside of you that you think aren't that big will eventually become huge and dominate your mind. Fourth, start some form of exercise practice. Everyone starts somewhere! There really is no excuse to not exercise because there are so many forms of exercise and each one is made to fit specific needs! Fifth, start eating better. Healing yourself from the inside out means taking special care to be conscientious of what you are putting in to your body. Sixth, surround yourself with positive energy. If that means cutting people off because they are negative and don't bring anything positive to your life, or if that means not watching certain things or listening to certain things, if that means not reading certain things, if that means being by yourself for a little bit, please PLEASE do whatever it takes to surround yourself with positive energy!
Regardless of your beliefs, we are all special. We are all unique! There is not one single person on this Earth who is the exact same as anyone else. Humans are all creatures who need love, healing, kindness, and peace. Once we all learn how to take care of ourselves and heal the negatives within us, we can help others heal too, and that will make this world such a better place! Get up and start healing yourself! Just take the plunge! It might be a little scary at first especially knowing that you have to confront those inner demons head on but I promise, it will be the best thing you have ever done for yourself!
Link for the Buti Yoga workout that made me fall in love with the practice: https://youtu.be/gi6rBX2Pp5c
Link for the guided meditation: https://youtu.be/6l8fyqg4SXM
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