We went to the park two times today. Once mid-morning and then again in the afternoon. The first time we were there today was a blast for him. There were five kids there total. There was a boy probably about four years old, a girl that was probably just a little younger than my boy, another baby boy, and my kids. My toddler got along so well with them! They were very well mannered and even took turns with him on the slide!
Then, we went again this afternoon. At first everything was fine. There were a few kids there and even a dog. My boy was having so much fun! I tried my hardest not to be a helicopter parent and let him do his thing so I was sitting on the line where the grass met the bark not even 15 feet from where he was playing. All the kids were pretending that they were at a restaurant and using the bark from the ground as “food.” All of a sudden the oldest boy looked at my boy and said “what do you want?” Of course my oldest has a speech delay and he doesn’t talk a whole lot in front of people he doesn’t know. Trying to play and come out of his shell he said “Dada. Dada.” In reply, the older boy asked “you want your daddy?” So of course my son’s immediate reaction was “Dada!” I know him well enough to know that he said dada again because the older boy understood him and so he was excited and proud of himself.
After the brief little conversation, the boy looked at his sister then looked back and my boy and said “you can’t play with us” and then looked at my son with a look that said “now go away.” My boy isn’t really old enough to understand what had just happened there so he smiled and kept playing with the bark. After realizing that the other kids weren’t playing with him he came running over to me with a big smile and gave me a hug.
In that moment I was faced with a huge choice. Everything in my body wanted to do two things. First, I wanted to go up to the boy and say “look, my son is little and he can’t talk as well as you but you know what? He sure wouldn’t exclude you or anyone else at all. How would you feel if you were having fun with someone and all of a sudden they told you that you couldn’t play with them anymore? You wouldn’t like it huh?” Second, I wanted to confront the mother of those kids who had been watching the whole thing as well and say “really lady? That is what you are teaching your kids?”
In that moment however, I realized something. Even though my boy will probably never remember what went on, he is looking to me as his mother and role model. Every action I make teaches him things. In that moment, I knew he didn’t need a mother that would get angry and confront everyone. He needed a friend. He needed someone in his corner who would take his hand with a smile on, and go play. So, I did exactly that. I gave my little guy a huge bear hug and walked with him to the swings. We then spent time laughing together and enjoying the sunshine.
I know I won’t be able to protect my kids from every bad thing in this life but I do know that I can always be in their corner. I can teach them that it doesn’t matter what other people say or do, what does matter is how we react. I can teach them that not everyone wants to be a friend, but he always has a friend in me.
My little boy is the most kind, sweet, genuinely good hearted person I know. Yes he is a toddler and he throws fits. Yes he does things when I tell him no. Yes he pushes all the buttons I didn’t even know I had, but you know what? I am so proud of that little boy! I am so thankful that he chose me to be his mommy! I am so amazed at the heart of gold he has!
Our kids will go through rough things. Our kids will get rejected by their peers sometimes. Our job isn’t always to be a mom, and or job isn’t always to teach them lessons. Sometimes, on days like today, they just need someone standing in their corner. They need someone who is willing to stand with them when no one else will. Even at his tiny age of two, it’s still important that he knows I will be there no matter what and especially when it counts!
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