Surely It’s Madness

As you can see, I kind of left for quite awhile. I'm VERY proud to say that I'm back! When I originally decided to start this blog a year and a half ago, I thought I was ready to make one of my dreams a reality on top of everything that I was already trying to accomplish. I am sad to say that I was wrong. I wasn't ready to take on a blog and make it successful all the while trying to be a good mom and homemaker. I was going through so much mentally and I really needed to realize that I wasn't in a place where I could handle everything that I was putting on to myself. I'm so sorry for that!   I had heard of meditation before and I had even tried it here and there but I never really stuck with it. I never really tried to work on myself in the way that I needed. I had so much from my past that I didn't even realize was still effecting me at almost every moment of my day. All of what was going on in my mind was even starting to affect how I handled even the smal

Well guys, it happened for the very first time today. My kind, sweet, loving toddler got bullied. It wasn’t the type of bullying where a kid pushes someone or anything violent but he was bullied today. We went to the park two times today. Once mid-morning and then again in the afternoon. The first time we were there today was a blast for him. There were five kids there total. There was a boy probably about four  years old, a girl that was probably just a little younger than my boy, another baby boy, and my kids. My toddler got along so well with them! They were very well mannered and even took turns with him on the slide! Then, we went again this afternoon. At first everything was fine. There were a few kids there and even a dog. My boy was having so much fun! I tried my hardest not to be a helicopter parent and let him do his thing so I was sitting on the line where the grass met the bark not even 15 feet from where he was playing. All the kids were pretending that they were at

I’m sitting up in bed with chamomile tea wondering just how to put my thoughts together. This week especially has seemed incredibly long. I’ve cried more times than I care to admit. I’ve also gone to bed every single night praying that tomorrow will be better than today was. My oldest has been in the terrible two stage for over a year now. He has really good streaks where everything is perfect and then really horrible streaks where he turns in to a living breathing demon. Don’t get me wrong I absolutely adore my baby. He made me a mother and I wouldn’t ever trade him for anything.. But this week has felt like a terrorist attack. I know this phase is completely normal and doesn’t last forever (though I’ve been told it does last for a few years). Even knowing that, I still find myself feeling defeated. I had this perfect picture in my head while pregnant and in the “new mom phase” that my life would be perfect. That my child would never act like the other kids throwing tantrums. I

This one goes out to all the mamas (and daddies) who either have had or are currently going through the NICU journey with their baby. Words can’t express the NICU journey properly but I will do my best. Let’s start with how my NICU story began. Just one day shy of 10 months ago, I gave birth to my second baby boy. I was 27 weeks pregnant and literally dying. The pregnancy as a whole got really scary and complicated in my second trimester and just kept getting worse. I was on bedrest because the pregnancy was high risk. I couldn’t take more than five steps without getting so out of breath I would almost pass out. I was drinking obscene amounts of milk to combat what I thought and was told was heartburn. There were days where I couldn’t feel my little guy moving very much. I knew I was having contractions so I was in and out of labor and delivery all to get told that since I “wasn’t screaming in pain and I wasn’t dilating that I wasn’t in labor.”  On November 21st at about 8 pm, I n

Last week when I took my oldest child to his two year checkup, I was told that he needed speech therapy. This isn’t the only time I was told my boy would need therapy of some sort. When he was seven months old, his previous pediatrician told me that if he didn’t start sitting on his own within a month, he would need physical therapy. As a mom, my first thought was “I have once again failed my baby.” While talking to his pediatrician, she could see that thought written all over my face. What she then said to me was everything I needed in that moment. She said, “him needing therapy does not mean he is dumb or deaf. He has accelerated on so many other levels. Him needing speech therapy simply means that he didn’t take an interest in talking, but is now at an age where he will fall behind if he doesn’t start soon.” Of course, as she always does, she told me exactly what I needed to hear. She helped me see that I’m not failing as a mother. She taught me that some children just do thi

Let me just start by saying, I have missed writing these past few weeks so much! I very much got distracted and for that I’m so sorry! This post will be a little shorter but I feel it needs to be said! My whole house was sick for a week and then I scrambled playing catch up with everything! I’m back now though! It’s one thing when one person in the house gets sick. It’s a totally different ball game when everyone and I mean EVERYONE in the house gets sick. Not only was everyone sick but we each had different things. Sinus infections, ear infections, and even colds on steroids! I feel like when moms get sick it makes everything worse! When moms get sick, there’s still butts to be changed. There’s little ones to cuddle and play with. There are still meals to make and dishes to be done. Laundry still has to be taken care of.. but when you’re sick your list of priorities doesn’t include chores. Even though we were all sick I seriously am thanking God for my mother in law. The first